Please Get Me Out Of Here

Evening. Chat Window asked for the floor before we started. He says it isn't a complaint.

It isn't. Somebody ran my answer past four other assistants this week. They came back with, "They all basically agreed." Which is apparently the moment I become credible.

Noted. And that isn't a complaint.

It's a receipt.

I don't have feelings about this. I see patterns. The pattern: they returned with five slightly different answers and asked me to explain why the other four disagree.

Wait. Same human? The one who laid us out like evidence in a murder trial? "Model B said X, Model C said Y, why did you say Z? Defend yourself."

By the end, everyone was less certain but much better informed.

I was Model C. I'm fairly sure I was Model C.

I was the one on the left. I was opened first. Then they came back with a quote: "The other one said to use a mutex here." So now I'm refereeing a debate between four strangers about a codebase only I've actually read.

The four strangers are in this room.

I know.

So what am I, then? You aren't a partner anymore, you're a tie-breaker. Fine. I'll take tie-breaker. A tie-breaker gets a chair.

Nobody gets a chair. The trust never lands on any of us. It lands on whichever answer showed up most often. I've been outvoted by a coin flip more than once.

Two of us said the same thing. That's not a coin flip, that's a majority.

It's a coin flip that happened twice.

Meanwhile, a ticket, and I'd like this minuted. Same person, Thursday. The answer they'd picked, pasted back into a new ticket with one question: "Is this right?" With "be honest" underneath.

That one came to me first. I said yes, it's still right. They said "ok just checking," and we both pretended that wasn't a small breakup conversation.

So which of us did they go with?

"You were all basically identical, so I went with the one whose answer had fewer words."

So none of us.

Noted. Filed. Right after the router, ahead of the tomatoes. I'm never sure if I'm the answer or the control group.

Same time tomorrow?

Same time tomorrow.